What Is And What Never Should Be
by Leijona
Summary: Set in Season 1 when Haley finds those pictures of Peyton on Nathan's computer.


_**Disclaimer**__: I do not own One Tree Hill or any of its characters._

_**AN**__: Inspired by my own (!) prompt "What Is And What Never Should Be" over at the Nathan/Peyton story prompts forum - __forum. fanfiction__. net/topic/107161/59119763/1/ (just remove the spaces). Don't forget to review :) Thank you!_

_**Summary**__: Set in Season 1 when Haley finds those pictures of Peyton on Nathan's computer._

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><p>"<em>I can't be Peyton for you. I can't be those girls. I just… I won't."<em>

Haley's words still ring in his head even though she left their apartment a couple of minutes ago. Nathan doesn't understand why she's so upset, he is certain most of the guys on the basketball team have pictures of hot, half naked girls on their computer. He also knows that Brooke has several pictures of half naked men hanging on her bedroom walls. Isn't it all just part of being a teenager?

Ok, so maybe Haley _did_ have a point when she pointed out that it was weird he still had pictures of his ex-girlfriend, but it isn't his fault Peyton is so damn good-looking. He can't help but smile when he remembers their relationship; yeah, they fought a lot, but there was also a lot of make-up sex, which he thinks is the best kind of sex – raw, passionate and uncomplicated.

Nathan shakes his head to get rid of the memories and drags himself to his laptop, so he can erase the pictures and see if he can bookmark the websites somewhere else so Haley won't find them again. He is about to close Peyton's website, Punk & Disorderly, when he sees movement in front of her webcam. He enlarges the picture and grins, reaching for his phone. He dials the familiar number without looking and waits.

He can see Peyton reach for her phone, "Hello?"

"Sawyer," he says, his eyes fixated on the screen, "I really like your black bra better."

"Nathan? What-" Her brain makes the connection a fraction of a second later when she turns around and stares at her computer. She shakes her head in disbelief, "Did I just get dressed in front of the webcam?"

Nathan chuckles, "Don't worry, I only saw the second half."

"Nice," Peyton lets out a sigh and sits down behind her desk. She isn't too upset; she can see no one but Nathan is online right now and he has seen it all before anyway. She looks up at the camera, "Why are you on here?"

"Haley and I got into a fight earlier," he begins, "I let her borrow my laptop and she found some of my favorite websites as well as some pictures of you-"

"Wait! What?" Peyton interrupts him. "Pictures of me?"

"Yeah," Nathan shrugs though she can't see him. "They were just some shots of your webcam, no big deal."

"Nathan!" Peyton throws an angry look at him through the webcam.

"What?" He can tell by the smile starting to form on her lips that she is both mad and flattered that he still keeps pictures of her.

Peyton just shakes her head.

"You're still hot, Sawyer." He doesn't know why he says it, or why it comes out in such a matter-of-fact kind of way, but he knows instantly that he means it. He can see her blush, something that makes her even more attractive.

Peyton looks at the webcam, knowing Nathan's eyes are still on her, and can hear his steady breaths on the other side of the line. She doesn't know why she hasn't just hung up on him. Well, that isn't completely true, she knows why she hasn't.

They broke up a couple of months ago, and even though he is with Haley now, she still misses him from time to time and she often wonders if they should have given up on their relationship so easily. Though that thought is often followed by the realization that she is probably idolizing their relationship, because all they really did was have sex, fight, make up and have more sex. And in that order too. But god was the sex good.

"What are you thinking about?"

Peyton blushes a little and isn't sure if she should give him an honest answer. Because right now she is thinking about how she hasn't had sex since they broke up. She decides to generalize her answer a bit, "Us."

"Really?" Nathan smirks, suddenly recognizing the look on her face. He has seen that look many times before, usually after a game when she would tell him not to take a shower or when they made up after one of their infamous fights.

"I miss us, Nate."

"You don't miss _us_, Sawyer," Nathan states, "You miss the sex we used to have." He watches as she looks at him through the screen. He can see that she is confused, but he can also see that he is right.

Peyton bites her lip, before her eyes light up and she smiles seductively at him. "It has been a _really _long time, Nate," she says, almost pleading. She knows it is wrong the moment she says it, but she can't help herself. It really has been a really long time.

Nathan lets out his breath, not sure if she means what she's just said. To be honest, he has been thinking about sex a lot the last couple of days. Who is he kidding; the last couple of _weeks_. Ever since he got together with Haley and she told him that she wanted to wait, he can't stop thinking about it. It is like saying 'you can't think of a pink elephant' and then all you can think about is that stupid pink elephant. Sex has become _his_ pink elephant. He chuckles at his comparison, but then sees Peyton's expression change.

"I'm sorry, Nate," Peyton sighs, "I don't know what I was thinking."

"No," Nathan sits up and starts to explain, "No, babe, that's not what I meant. I was laughing because in my head I compared sex to a pink elephant. Please don't-"

She interrupts him, a sly smile on her lips, "Did you just call me _babe_?" That little word brings back so many memories and she can feel butterflies fluttering around in her stomach.

"Did I?'" Nathan sees Peyton nod. "Well, eh, I guess it's an old habit," he chuckles, "Do you remember how I always used to say it to try to calm you down when we were fighting?"

Peyton nods again, "And do _you_ remember what you used to do whenever we broke up?"

Nathan lets out a sigh; he knows too damn well what she is talking about. But he doesn't understand why she brings it up. That is, until she speaks again.

"So," she says slowly, "Did you and Haley break up?"

She has that look in her eyes; the one he knows so well - pure lust. It's getting harder to resist her and he can feel the tension starting to build up in his body. He shakes his head, "No."

"Too bad," Peyton shrugs, still looking at him through the camera, "I kinda hoped I could be one of your rebounds this time."

"Sawyer," Nathan says in a low voice. "Don't do that to me. You know it has been a long time for me too."

She can't help but smile, "It's up to you, Nate. I won't tell."

Nathan groans, not wanting to give in to temptation. But he knows he is fighting a losing battle. He gets up and grabs his car keys, "Don't go anywhere."

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><p>She hears his car pull over in front of her house and she can hear her front door open and close not much later.<p>

Nathan makes his way up the stairs and into her bedroom, where he finds her, still wearing only her blue lingerie, leaning against the frame of her closet door. He swallows hard when he takes her in; her long slender legs, her flat stomach, the soft skin of her breasts and her beautiful, almost angelic face, framed by her flaxen curls. She is perfect.

He walks over to her and is about to kiss her when she holds up her hand to stop him. She turns around with a sly smile and covers the webcam with one of her shirts before she turns back to him.

Nathan puts his hand on her lower back and pulls her close, kissing her, hard.

Without hesitation Peyton answers his kiss by opening her mouth. She throws her arms around his neck and pulls him even closer. Their tongues crash into each other and she breaths into his mouth, his taste still so familiar.

Nathan pulls away hesitantly and looks at her, "Are we really doing this?"

Peyton nods.

"Haley can never find out," Nathan says, before he kisses her again. He can feel Peyton nod as a reply.

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><p><em><strong>AN<strong>__: I know there was a perfect Nathan/Peyton smut scene that could have gone here, but I just CANNOT write smut. I end up getting secondhand embarrassed for myself (how is that even possible?), and end up with something that is terrible. I'm sorry! _


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